11/18 TUESDAY

Today I had an appointment with Teddy.

The rest of the day until 8:04 PM I napped all Day.

I ate a little.

I turned on the radio earlier today but they were preaching once saved, always saved so I switched it off. Later, I prayed.

4:44 AM Woke from a night of intense spiritual warfare. Asked Pastor Pete to pray for me. God told me I could trust him (Pete). Going back to bed because he prayed I'll get a good night's rest:
Bye.

11/21 FRIDAY

I take a warm and hot shower and about six hours later find myself building up Cyclopediaoftruth, and rearranging my MaraandLuke website so that people going onto it from Santa's discord server can access the main Star Wars features of the website more readily.
After my shower I stream, but some painted on outfits on ads and some RAID girls tempt me, and possibly some other things, so I ride my bike down to QT, intending to call Leia on the way to report my temptations to her. I had not given into my temptations. I put RAID on 100 Multibattles for my YouTube audience and go. I start to get fuzzy feelings in the pit of my stomach so I flee.

It is pouring down rain. I tell myself 'I'm not made of sugar - I won't melt', glad I don't have my phone on me, and bike to QT. I purchase a huge Italian Sub with banana peppers visible on the side of it, and 'Dirt cake' Ben and Jerry's ice cream. I bike home and eat both on my stream.

After I eat my food, I go on YouTube on my phone, and see Alex O' Connor come closer to Jesus being God being plausible and see Jews and Iranians coming to Jesus and I rejoice!

Mark accuses me of dabbling in foolishness because I have a life and try to get an education. I spend literally 75% of my time sometimes doing something or other religious or spiritual and he calls me worldly from top to bottom and accuses me of 'dabbling'. He won't let up on me until I do absolutely nothing but Scriptures and Church and literally NOTHING ELSE at all. He calls anything not 100% religious dabbling in foolishness and worldly. I couldn't even build a ship without him calling it dabbling and worldly. And he watches Star Trek on a regular basis. There is nothing wrong with that, but he gets down on himself for it. He is a total legalist, and a Pharisee. He looks down his nose at me and expects me to come up to his standard or I'm worldly from top to bottom and dabble in foolishness.

And he's still trying to talk me out of my religion, trying to get me to deny my God and forfeit my soul.

I go to the bathroom and my stomach hurts so I lie down briefly, then go to the living room, finish writing in my Diary for now and intend to go back to bed - it's extremely early in the morning. Then I get a terrible idea. 2:00 in the morning is the time certain movies are on. . ... oh, no.

Although there was nothing I wanted to see on at the time, I did end up watching hardcore trash, then confessed my sins unto God and took another shower and fantasized. Hunger is a tool of the enemy. Feeding my flesh is not a way to self-mastery. I read some notes on Like Dragons Did They Fight I took earlier...worth looking into.

1. Today I am starting a journey - a Book marathon, logging all my progress.

2. I need to Face my Giants.

3. I need to come and be baptized and confirmed when the Holy Spirit tells Ken I'm ready.

4. I absolutely cannot continue to believe these two lies any more :

-1. That I will never win; that I will always be defeated.
-2. That I can serve both God and the devil.

12:11 PM CST The power goes out around the neighborhood of Oak Grove when I believe, from what I have ascertained, a transformer blows up. I hear the explosion in the midst of making a Study With Brent stream. Then I pack some books and my phone, don my sweater, winter hat and windbreaker and head to Casey's, which is shut and locked in the middle of the day, then head to the Bookstore, where I learn that the Bookstore lights flickered but stayed on and that there are several power lines down in front of Dollar Fresh, to the right of the Bookstore on Main Street. Sue says the power is out from 12'th Street to the freeway, but the Commercial Bank has lights. The traffic lights are working on Main. The police have The hiway (Main) cordoned off from about near here to near I-70, and traffic is re-routed around Main and very heavily backed up.
Mark Brady says the lights went out at his house, then came back on. My lights flickered a few times then settled to off. Now I work unless the power goes out here too. I best update my computer Diary before I work lest the 'Net goes out and I can't.

What may have happened (Cause: Wildlife) according to Sue is squirrels chewing on the power cords causing transformer to burst and power lines to go down. Evergy sent me a text saying the cause was Wildlife.

I watch a Southern Baptist ask genuine questions of Members of the Latter Day Saint (Utah) Church. He doesn't seem to have an agenda. When the Baptist typed 'Mormon' on Google, it was polarizing - either super positive or super negative.

For work, I shelve a lot of Westerns from L to T. I had started a new hours logbook today.

I sign up for a free trial of Audible. My first title, written in one night (so I can listen in one night): Like Dragons Did They Fight by Dr. Maurice Hearker.

I get about caught up to where I left off in the pdf.
I make mini shells 'n cheese for supper.

The longer it takes you to respond correctly to satan's attacks - you can know his attacks by how you feel when satan speaks - the less control you have.

Feelings lead to behaviour.

God will make a way of escape. Sometimes it takes a while for the way of escape to open.

You need training in self-mastery (self-control).

You need to practice.

Beings that have bodies have power over any being without a body - Joseph Smith.

(Though Jesus' flesh was subject to His Spirit-BLS).

Satan nor even the Holy Ghost can force you to carry their thoughts, often undiscernible from your own thoughts, into action. The spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets.

Boredom has set in. There's 5 hours left! It's so long! But I will keep the Spirit with me as I listen to this next section so I will be able to fight the boredom and fight back and benefit thereby.


James 1:5-6

God to Maurice: God (and you) have (has) a body. Satan does not. Go back to your textbooks and find out why having a body makes all the difference.

Maurice remembered certain chemicals neutralize one another. "Warrior chemicals "- The Answer.

We are to protect our women even to the shedding of blood. Fear, anger, panic, love, determination, ferocity. In women it is mother bear chemistry.

Warrior chemistry to be used in heat of battle.

What revenge! - Paul

Revenge your disobediecne-Paul

Used in sports and in music.

"Kill Lamanites on Saturday and still be able to teach teach Priesthood on Sunday"

I fought it tooth and nail but alas the way of escape did not open for me tonight I failed again and x.

When I had tried to sleep, I had been bombarded mentally with the same mental image from satan over and over, and I fought it with vigour, but I gave satan an inch. I turned on a nudie movie on Tubi but then turned it off before I x and told myself I want to save that for my future wife, not use it greedily on myself, so I wasn't as affected by it, and I asked God's forgiveness, got sent a prayer by Colt, text Colt for prayer and call Leia when I confess my sin and struggles then watch Family Feud, Rebels S2 DVD and read from Columbo Book. I'm still not tired since I consumed a 1 L of Pepsi tonight. Then I participate in Santa's Covert and watch Spark of the Rebellion Part 2 24/7 Livestream.

It was nice reading The Source today. Learned a lot about archaeology.
Read Scriptures today.
Bye.

11/23 SUNDAY

I feel different today - - like I'm doing something different than I normally do.

I did my first drill (mailbox) around 12 PM. I activated Warrior Chemistry several times today.

OBS Streamlabs stopped working today and I DM'ed Star Wars Santa asking him to help me troubleshoot OBS Streamlabs.

I'm listening to Bill Lane Craig, Ph.D's Testimony of Jesus Christ. Before that I listened to the Testimony of a Latin Rite (Roman) Catholic who translated the entire Semite Greek Book of Revelation into English and he learned a lot about the Apocalyptic Texts that way.

I was listening to The Way Home by Mark Boyle on audible last night after Like Dragons Did They Fight ended. After it, listening to it for a while I paused it and slept. I woke up around 7 AM to an evangelical talking about the concept of a longing for heaven, on YouTube, and forgot it was Sunday, so I slept more, and missed the opportunity to call for a ride to morning Church.

Now I listen to Warner Haley on The Authentic Christian podcast, on GBN. They believe they are the New Testament Church. But without Authoritative Priesthood and Keys and the True Sacraments and Ordinances and Divine Revelation from Heaven, there is no Church.

I watch Lilo and Stitch LAR on my laptop PC and continue In The Heat of The Night S1X01: Pilot on my telephone but pause them to continue my YouTube collab Playlist on TV, GBN. They established what they feel is the True and Original Restoration of the Church on Earth but it doesn't even come close to the Actual Fulness of Truth. I eagerly also await the next video on the Collab Playlist.
Concentrating on one thing at a time would be ideal for me.
My Border Patrol for today is private, between me and God.

The next video on the Playlist is the Southern Baptist asking Mormons genuine questions, a video I've watched once before. I watch more of In The Heat of the Night Episode 1, Season 1 while it's on because I've already seen this YouTube video.

I got really frustrated, then very angry because I had to uninstall then reinstall discord, delete my app data and end the discord tasks, and I had just had to do all this about two days ago.

I am about to participate in Dark Jedi Brotherhood trivia in five minutes.

DAY ONE

This is my second Day with the Fortify App informed by Like Dragons Did they fight, some self help books, tools learned in counseling and many other tools. My last set back date was yesterday, November 22, 2025, in which I fell with mr P and Mr M twice. The chemical dumps in my brain, thoughts and whole experience and analysis of my falls I do not remember much of at all, for I am still untrained, though I did three flagpole (mailbox drills) today and did warrior chemistry drills several times today. You can't be virtuous until you freely choose virtue. I have been watching In The Heat of the Night, a program with a small amount of sexuality/nudity /pruriance, I'd say nearly Star Wars Level. I was mature enough to handle it. Yet just yesterday when satan told me (and I thought it was God's voice, the Radio Trick) to watch the Third Episode of Murder, She wrote, an unexpected scene or two in it I was unprepared for, yet I used warrior chemistrty to use my God-Given freedom not to come into bondage. Then I turned that off, and later I was listening to the end of Like Dragons, and a voice told me to find another audiobook on audible, but I did not discern as the voice of the enemy, at least at first, telling me it could not be a mystery story, sci-fi, but it could be porn. It should have been obvious to me that it was that old devil, but I actively searched for porn audiobooks, even when the Holy Spirit whispered, reminding me I was not to spend any money on porn, but I continued my search, until I saw a Title called Influencer with a smartphone with a hellish concentric square pattern on the screen and I was reminded of a girl's Near death Experience I had seen recently in a YouTube video, where she was shown by Jesus the chamber of hell where a mid 40's male was endlessly scrolling on his telephone, finding new thrills, unaware he was in hell, and a girl looking in a mirror, endlessly trying to make herself look prettier with make-up. Then I, before I actually fell, used my God given free Agency to choose the Title The Way Home, a Nonfiction audiobook about a man living with his girlfriend in a cabin he built himself living with a cat and a dog and without modern technology and going from being a vegan to realizing the necessity to eat meat. This I listened to half the night before I paused it and slept, having consumed a 1 L of Pepsi last night but able to sleep the night through on my metal rollaway bed with four legs that replaced my infaltable mattress (I had slept on it on the floor many nights because I'd had to get rid of my old bed and boxspring due to bedbugs and later I had fleas, but I bugbombed the house. I got rid of most of my clothes save for one bag of them which I washed on high heat and dried on the highest setting at the laundromat and the clothes on my back, but kind Restoration Branches Movement Church folk gave me a whole bunch of new clothes and so did my friend Josh and his parents, and Josh gave me a new hat for my 42'nd birthday.) I woke this morning arond 7 AM CST to a man on YouTube talking about the concept of a longing for heaven. Later I made a delusional Border Patrol schedule and spent about 15 minutes waiting for someone who never arrived just a look-alike, and discovered God uses the same methods satan does, with God's chemical dumps, God's whispered, rational thoughts and God's 'dude' moments. I switched the YouTube Playlist I'm collaborting with others publicly on that was on my PC laptop on my bed this morning from my laptop to my TV, desired to read Dieterich Bonhoeffer's Biography by Eric Metaxes (although that desire started out as part of my delusion) and Christian Dogmatics Vol 2 and Bonhoeffer's Doctoral Dissertation on Church History and Theology which I hope to find online, and continue to read the Columbo novel, which I beiieve God warned me there will be three temptations in, and to prepare myself for them with Warrior Chemistry. God also warned me not to start Dan Brown's Angels and Demons not yet but later, and I believe he wants me to read the RLDS Priesthood Manuel and study Joseph Smith III's Memoirs and Church history, but alas my priorities seem to change daily. It is admitedly very difficult for me to focus because I have so many options in my apartment. Tomorrow I have to go to work at the Bookstore, barring rain, a place full of temptations, but which I feel by now I have grown stronger in my immunity against built up from about a year and a half so far of volunteering there. I've made a lot of progress so far, but I need structure, discipline, training, and to learn to focus on one thing at a time. Pastor Pete calls me a six-screen man because of all my multitasking. As I write to you on Fortify App, my TV is on my collab YouTube Star Wars and Religious Playlist, my Radio is on Bott Radio Network, my smartphone has In the Heat of the Night paused and my PC has the Lilo and Stitch Live Action Remake, a movie I particularly enjoy on pause, and my tablet (one of them), is playing Family Radio on my bed, I pln on reading from five books today, and I'm about to go bike to the store and purchase a 1 Litre of Pepsi and invite an older male friend over to watch The Sound of Music when I have purchased my soda. Pray for me.

Bye.

11/25 TUESDAY

I brushed my teeth last night and slept all night long last night and napped during the day. Josh came over around 2 PM and washed some dishes. Then we took a small  walk, me and Josh, across the railway tracks and to the left, turn around, went back and to Josh's where I visited him for several minutes as he sat and smoked and watched videos and listened to music, then Josh came over to my house, washed a dish and sat down to watch The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, eating Roast Beef hash together. He lost interest in the movie. I continued it and he left, having things to attend to.

Earlier today, I put 2.95-----USD in the Bank, then transferred 2.00-----USD into Bank Account 1 from Bank Account 2, to cover both my xfinity bill and audible bill, yet to come out of Bank account 1 this month. Then I biked home. Shortly afterward, and after a text argument with Uncle Mark, Josh came over. Josh wanted to know if I was angry at him because of my manner. I told him it was my uncle, who is very mad at me and thinks I don't love him or care for him and accuses the Elders, Prophets and Apostles of the Restructured Church of showing zero love, just because they show no response to Mark's and my websites.

Last night I got locked out of my apartment and T, Josh, and I climbed up T's ladder from his truck onto my balcony and T. opened  my window from the outside and Josh and I climbed through it, moving the cat tower. The window got broken - the frame did - and I had to stuff a towel into the cracked open part to insulate it until Jaysin can fix it.

I gave Josh a LDS Triple Combination - Large Print - Book of Mormon, Doctrine And Covenants and Pearl of Great Price - for a Christmas  Present and told him not to read Section 132 - that a lot of it was not true. He gave me a towel that I had wrapped my laptop up in the rain twice last night for a Christmas present.

I continued reading Columbo: The Glitter Murder today.

After the Holmes Movie, The Secret History of Air Force One came on Tubi on Autoplay. I'm glad. Praise God!

I made Josh co-Administrator of maraandlukeforever.boards.net last night.

DAY THREE

 I had an amiable day, spending plenty of time with my friend Josh N. and watching/reading/listening to a lot of Sherlock Holmes and Columbo. The other day I daydreamed about being given a workstation and a laptop an d fax machine in my home by the police and a job by the police of being a unofficial consulting detective, helping the police solve many crimes. I like stories about coppicemans. I used to watch a ton of Law and Order CSI and NCIS and JAG.I really liked the Stephen King book Black House which contained similar themes but was supernatural. Last night I locked myself out of my house and two people helped me climb up onto my balcony in the pouring rain using a ladder and climb into my second story apartment through my upsairs window.

 I brushed my teeth last night, and slept all night long last night, though today I napped during the first part of today.

I ate good and nutritious food today, prayed and praised the Lord, meditated a little, and got banking business done promptly.

 The problem was that I only practiced a scant amount of Warrior Chemistry today, and only did one flagpole (mailbox) drill today, during which I retrieved my mail. If I'm to succeed when I'm weak I need to practice my tools more than that.

I did do plenty of Border Patrol, writing down many things and goals I need to get accoplished over the next three days. Last night I turned off all my electronics - tablet, laptop and phone, and went straight to bed. My sleep was sound. 

Bye.

Last edited by Admin (11/25/2025 8:42 pm)

Link to Diary 7

Last edited by Admin (11/28/2025 3:24 am)